They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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