God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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