So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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