Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
