she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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