Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
