can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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