i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
