Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
