u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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