Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
