the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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