yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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