It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
