I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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