I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
