so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
