i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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