flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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