WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
