just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Two words: nipple clamps
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