how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
