I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
