do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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