Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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