He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
