I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
