This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
