If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
