sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
