You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
