Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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