What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
