Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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