i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
