I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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