I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
