I'm jealous of your bromance
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
