I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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