if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
