He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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