I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize