are you still at the devil's house?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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