Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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