i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
