those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
