I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
