If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
