And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
