soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
