saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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