you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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