Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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