I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
