Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
