you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
