I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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