She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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