Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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