Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
