Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
