South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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