Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
