Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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