Dual....:-)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
