i just google imaged poop.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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