Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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