Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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