I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
