fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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