Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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