Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
